City of Light, we are comingg!!

Two days more to go and will be on the plane to Paris! I am not sure if I am really prepared for this journey with Noelia. But I hope it is going to be alright with Ludo around to help. I notice that Noe is quite sociable with people around her. She greets our friends and trying to talk to them in bizarre language. Sometimes she hides her head on to my skirt in between if she's not confident. As long as they are not talking loudly and overexcited to see Noe, she's a fine little lady.

I just can't imagine how cold Paris will be when we arrive. It is breezy and sunny with a couple of rains over here in Singapore. We walk outside in the park and the beach alot. Furthermore, we are planning to stay a little longer in France, so I've got to really prepared for 2 seasons clothing. So far, we've been lucky that our friends and family have sent the hand me down warm clothing for little Noe. There's a lady who lives in South of France who I met in Flickr has sent bedding for crib and some clothes for Noe. She's going to be a fashion model with all the clothes she has during the winter.

We will have fun in Paris with a baby now. She may not understand everything but she will sense the difference of climate and environment. And we pray that she won't get sick.

All this time ...

I've been out from blogging for the past few days. I was planning, arranging, organising, making things work around us. I usually get exhausted by the end of the day and found no energy to write anything.

I bought some paints a couple of weeks ago. It is a small project that I will re-paint Noelia's room with a good color to create new ambiance. It got delayed because every weekends we had events to attend. Noelia is clingy! It's difficult to stick to the plan. The guests comes and go in our house.
I am counting down the day we leave for France. It's going to be in 2 more weeks. Yayy!!
All the winter clothes are ready for Noelia, she's lucky to have cousins and friends who are willing to give her some old clothes. Now, I only need to find a couple of things for myself to get myself warm in winter wonderland.

Time Flies Little Girl!

Time Flies Little Girl!, originally uploaded by L'Aubergine Grillée.

A year is passing down slowly. This tiny star is growing more and showing her character. I can't believe you are 1 year now....

I remember how much effort I have to push you out.
I remember how much we cried for a few months knowing that you had to be operated a day after you were born.
I remember the prayers we said every seconds for you to get well soon
I remember the feeling I had when I touch your lips
I remember how you had little cry in ICU room when we came
I remember the smell of the soap we use to clean our hands before we enter your room
I remember the day when I cleaned your pouch attached on your tiny tummy from the poos
I remember how I nursed you and get real close with you

We have passed those moments but I always know it will make us even closer. I know I may have been making mistakes to you, but I am learning to become your mother.

Unplugging our baby (No TV from 0-24 mos)

I am not sure whether we are uptight parent or not if we aren't allowing our 11 months old not to watch TV at home. I have been discussing this issue with Ludo when she was only a tiny seed inside me. We argued, criticized, analysed, challenged each other for us to get into the same page on parenting. For the past few months, we've been following and observing our friends and their children when the TV is turn on. This probably one of the sensitive issue in modern parenting. No, we are not trying to be different among other parents but it is the issue that we find it important to help to raise our kids during their early years.

There are 2 schools of thought on introducing TV to younger viewers. First, TV can be an educational media to acquire social skills and knowledge about the world surrounding. It could be also a tool to relax and calm the kids when they are agitated (in the wrong time). The other thinks that TV discourages learning and healthy physical and social development.

Right now, I am talking about younger babies (0-18 months). I have noticed that there are more TV programmes for them. In the market, they are sellinf Baby DVD such as Baby Einstein, Brainy Babies with smart marketing campaigns. These marketers bring up the theory of raising a smart baby in the spread articles of motherhood and parenting's magazines. Who doesn't want our younger baby can read, count and talk in different languages? It is good development skills that every parents dream of! The DVDs are readily available and yes, Ludo even insisted to me that it is a good buy from Carrefour! At that moment I said, we have subscribed a cable where there are Baby TV, Playhouse Disney Channel etc, why do we need more Baby CDs and DVDs? But eventually I agreed with him and thought if she could be smarter and acquire some new skills earlier will be awesome, we are going to be a very proud parent. But something inside me craved to find out more about it.

My journey began when I saw Ludo and Noelia were frozen stiff watching Baby TV programme. Both of them have the same expression, their eyes glued and mouth open a bit. It really looks like they have been hypnotized.

Let me trying to explain a bit of our background, Ludo is usually addicted to TV during his holiday in the hotel room cos it is a way to relax. He knows the weakness, so he prefers not to have TV at home until I insisted for the entertainment when I was full breastfeeding Noelia before. There was never a big deal with TV before we were married, we didn't have any. It wasn't too important for us although we had no clue what our friends mentioned some of the good shows like "Desperate Housewives", "Heroes" etc. But we watch movies at home or in cinema from different countries. We got busy meeting up with friends or cooking or reading together in our spare time. My childhood was spent watching TV for entertainment but I was assigned to help with household chores, so it is limited for certain hours allowed by my parent. I started working and studying at the age of 17.

Are babies getting smarter when they watch Baby Einstein or other educational DVD regurlarly? We found that the best teachers are the parent and caretakers to interact with them, it is far more effective to learn language that way than watching it from Baby DVD. It doesn't meant that this programme is harmful but it is not the best. But there are researchers mentioned that by parking our infant in front of TV in no time will delay language development in toddlers.

"...the majority of the videos don't try to promote language; they have rapid
scene changes and quick edits, and no appearance of the 'parent-ese' type of
speaking that parents use when talking to their babies."

"There is an assumption that stimulation is good, so more is better. But that's not true; there is such a thing as overstimulation. Their minds come to expect a high
level of stimulation, and view that as normal, and by comparison, reality is
boring."

Zimmerman and Dr. Dimitri Christakis, the University of Washington

Although this research is still an early stage to prove the negative effects of TV to younger viewers but I am prone to stay in the safe side, back to natural. Personally, I agreed thay the children learn better by doing than by watching. Why do we count flowers using TV media when there are more natural flowers out in the garden? There are more things we can learn from the nature which have been provided to us.

She finds it hillarious if we imitates babies expressions or animal sounds while we reading aloud (just don't let anyone else see us). She is excited to see her Papa dancing (badly) following the children's tune. She even find it amusant when Papa sing the children song out of tune. But I know for sure that she learns to get to know the world from her parent's eyes and ears etc. and not from TV.

Là où je vais

Whoever made this video of Indonesia with the beautiful song from Laurent Voulzy is brilliant!
It touches the inside of me to acknowledge and be proud of Indonesia, the country where I was born. The country with rich cultures, the beautiful and imperfectness of everything are unique and interesting.

I should consider this if I ever going to change my nationality....

Roots of my soul

Banyan tree roots, originally uploaded by L'Aubergine Grillée.

I always fascinated by the roots of the big tree. They hug firmly into the ground and travel as long as they can to survive. The small and big roots grow everywhere on the earth surface as if dancing in hope for the rain. I'm awed by the growth where it began from a small seed into strong tree. The deeper the roots below the soil, the stronger they are against the storm. It reminds me of our soul. We all need to hold something firm in order to feel secure so we won't be uprooted during the strong storm.

Feeling crafty these days ...

My evening craft project, originally uploaded by L'Aubergine Grillée.

Christmas is around the corner. Ludo's family is celebrating it together in France. Although I am not christian, this time I'd like to exchange the gifts with them. They've been giving me lotsa presents the previous years. But I try not to spend on new stuffs. I am thinking to give to family something personal which I can make it my own.

Here it goes! I am practising to recycle the container for toiletries which have been sat in the bathroom for a year. I turned the white ceramic products into mosaic pattern.

This is probably the first time I tap into my creativity side since Noelia was born. I found it is a relieve! I began noticing that when I am able to fit a bit of creating into my day, I become more calm, at peace and fulfilled. This also makes me more patient and mindful to respond on Noelia's needs.

Furthermore, I also have sewing classes every Wednesday morning. And yeah, I would also like to do knitting soon. My friend has agreed to teach me to knit a baby hat! It's gonna be useful activities during my slow year in winter wonderland! I'm ready to be in South of France during the winter....

Belly Dancing scarf

Belly Dancing scarf, originally uploaded by L'Aubergine Grillée.

This is the first shop we entered in our recent trip to Arab street. Noelia loves the noisy belly dancing scarf. Maybe I should enroll her to belly dancing class for babies!!! Just kidding ...

Is it necessary to go to Baby Gym?

I live in the city where the government provides the best quality life to its population. This is the city where public transportation is convenient to take anytime. It also one of the best place in Asia for parent to raise their children in healthy envionment due to lower crime-rate. When I was in mid 20s, I came back from friends' party around 2 am without being fear of being harrassed.

It is also a society who puts great emphasis on education. It is heartening to see many options of early childhood schools for expats and Singaporeans. There are choices from enrichment programs to speech and drama classes by local or international institutions. I found it is very overwhelming for young parents like me to choose pre-schools for Noelia.

One day Ludo, my husband came back home with a couple of flyers about the nearest gym which Noelia could participate. I was giving him many reasons that I do not like the idea of getting her in the gym to play. We live in the estate where the playground and neighbourhood kids are all around for us to connect. I found it sad if we think Noelia can do better crawl, walk, jumps, and friends in the gym. Oh, we have to pay extra money for gym's programme too!

Suprisingly, a bunch of parents send their 4 and 6 months old baby to the gym classes! These institutions are well marketed among young parents, especially expatriates in Singapore. Their objectives are building confidence that leads to lifetime success and improving motor skills etc. I can hear their pitch, "we want to make movement fun for you", "they will learn how to socialize with others", "your baby needs to learn to move properly", "we can teach your baby to have more confidence" etc. That is marketing garbages which many naive parents buy! I think this is disturbing trend.

Are we parents afraid that they are becoming obese? Do baby needs "a personal trainer" to help them to crawl and do front rolls? Babies supposed to get enough exercise with doing what they normally do, crawling, walk and play. It looks like we lost our faith with them that they can develop as any normal human being. According to AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics), the baby doesn't actually need a special fitness programme for her body to develop motor skills. Moreover, the AAP feels the possibility exists that adults may inadvertently exceed their infant's physical limitations by using structured exercise programme.

Because babies receive all the physical and mental exercise they require naturally, parents do not need specialized skills or equipment to provide an environment for the optimum development of their infant. It probably better that these programme aimed at bonding the parent and baby.

Of course, I am also happy to participate in mom-baby programme to beat my baby blues (I still have it a bit till she's 8 months old) and postpartum flab. Yes, I enrolled Noelia in Positive Babies programme once in a week since she was 7.5 months. It is a 45 min programme where she has a chance to sing, moves, listen together and meet new friends around her age. Interestingly, I also found it is beneficial for me to know how to enjoy and have fun with her. We learn sign language, a little bit of yoga, music and the most important thing is having a positive mindset in parenthood. Oh yeah, the movements in the class together with Noelia could make me sweat too!

Wwwoosss ... Wind blows my hair!

Wwwoosss ... Wind blows my hair!, originally uploaded by L'Aubergine Grillée.

with my new camera!! Yoohoo!

A few pounds off more ...

Botanic Garden in the hot day!, originally uploaded by L'Aubergine Grillée.

No, I haven't gone back to my pre-pregnancy weight yet. I need a couple pounds off more. I've been trying to set up the schedule to work out. But it's a little tough to do it as we raise our daughter on our own. So, both of us take turn to be with Noelia each day.

I found that being a mother I need to learn managing my time accordingly, so I still can do the things that I like to do without neglecting Noelia. I probably lucky that Ludo is supporting me alot. On some days, he comes back home early to bath Noelia and put her to bed while I am out for yoga or meeting friends. Yes, he does diapers, brushing her teeth, bottle feeding and bedtime story. Sometimes he thinks he can squeeze massage session to her after the bath. We agreed that one day out of a week, I will do whatever I like sans baby. It puts my sanity back, good gracious!

I have been busy planning a schedule to burn off the fat or water inside the body. I heard it is actually water retention from pregnancy. Ok, a friend of mine suggested that I need to detox the body by drinking juice for 3 days and have rice in the size of our palm once in a day. Darn, I really need to be determine for this one.

Why do I have to be bother with this? I need to fit in to my clothes again!! I am suffered to walk around in the shopping centres to look for clothes for me with baby tagging along. And above all, I do not want to keep spending on new clothes anymore. I am into the slow year that my friend in South of France has started a few montrhs back. It is by reducing the expenses, means no shopping and get creative with whatever we have. Consumerism is not the answer to save the environment, because the more we spend the more we throw. It creates waste which contributes to the pollution.

I have been tempted to spend more in slimming programme that advertise in print media. I thought I could save a bit of money and do the programme for a couple of weeks. My husband opposed the idea, he couldn't understand why it is neccesary to do it in the spa. He encourages me to so workout and yoga a few times a week. He said that "It is not about losing weight, but what you feel inside, getting healthy is more important". Alright, I agreed with him this time. I have to stop behaving like "tai-tai" (housewives hang around in the shopping centres) who thinks can spend money from husband's earning and look pretty just to show off.

Now, I really need to work on etting up the schedules and boy, determination!

Our little Balinesse girl

Our little Balinesse girl, originally uploaded by L'Aubergine Grillée.

Colds War

We're down with colds and flu for the past few days. It was Noelia who fell sick earlier, she may got it from the train that we took the other day to the city. There were many passangers who coughed, sneezed around us. The virus has been spread all over.

She has runny nose and red watery eyes. And we literally camped in her room to make sure she was okay throughout the night. She kept waking up and cried because her stuffy nose. I carried her and let her sleep in my shoulder a bit. It probably making her feel better in vertical position.

I made a couple of jars of apple compote with ginger and cinnamon. During this period, she may not have appetite for solids and luckily she loves soo much the compote. I offered her homemade chicken soup but she only finished 1 jar spoonfed by our babysitter. And the following mealtime, she refused in protest the same meal I offered. Part of me says, "I need a babysitter now!"

We hope to be up and running again by tomorrow. We'll have coffee with my Indonesian friends tomorrow afternoon in the city.

Ok, time to go to bed early these days....in her room!

It takes a village to raise a child!

Beautiful aunt Tasha!, originally uploaded by L'Aubergine Grillée.

I always love this African proverb which reminds us that we are not alone in raising our child. The whole of society will help and provide our child with the environment to grow.

I am not sure if I spent my childhood in the friendly neighbourhood back in Jakarta. But I remember how my mom used to spent lots of time with other moms sharing their daily life. It is also a chance for me to play with friends around my age at their place. Nowadays, the ideal village where women sit around the bench chatting, or old man sit on the stool telling a story surrounded by children are difficult to picture. The families prefer to spend their afternoon and evening in front of television, we spends hours in the car and walk around in the shopping malls (especially when it is hot!). We, Parent blame their children for lack of social skills.

I would like Noelia to grow to know that the world doesn't consist me and Papa. The responsibility to raise her is not only with us, but also with extended family and in some cases the good community. It doesn't mean we leave her alone with strangers, but building trust to our close friends are important to us and the children. At the moment, we can quickly feel the good and safe neighbourhood compare to other neighbourhood which may need our child to avoid it.

The children can quickly feel the prejudice we have against our neighbours or family members. The common core of community is the unity which resplendent the diversity of cultures around us.

Batik Diapers...

I got her batik cloth diapers and I lovvee them!

It definetely much cheaper than cloth diapers in the shop. This Bumwear outside layer is made of pretty handprinted batik which has been made waterproof and breathable. The soft fleece is inside which touched the baby's bottom. It's easy to clean and dry quite fast too.

Well, this is one of our way to reduce the waste of dirty disposable diapers which pollute the earth. Those disposable diapers also contain chemical, dye, and maybe soap that could cause diaper rash. Although the price of a cloth diaper is higher than disposable diaper, but in the long run we save alot. Especially if we are planning to have more children (ooh wait, did I say it?!)

Potluck Dinner and The Feast...

It was a busy weekend in our house. We had our friends on Saturday and did a bit of groceries late afternoon.

On Sunday, I had to prepare (scrub clean) the house especially dining area where it becomes Noelia's artistic space during mealtime. Some of her artworks are mashed banana on the carpet, sticky morsels of bread, dried oatmeals on the table and some of her toys which covered with I-could-not-figured-it-out-what-sticky-thing.

Ludo had to move the fish ponds to the garden which he supposed to do long time ago. There's always a good thing to get the guests coming over, it forced us to tidy up the house. Sadly, He found some of the fishes he bought a week ago had died.

Noelia had a blast with the guests in the evening. She was excited to see 30 adults and a few children to play with. Although she managed to sleep at 7 pm, she was awake at 9 pm and excited with music guitar our friends played. Oh ma P'tit 'bout! Tres mimi...

Noelia's Meltdown time

It's been several days after she had the last vaccinations, she refuses to eat any veggies. These days lunch is the most frustrating time for me, she simply shut her lips from any meal I offered. I usually cooked the variety of veggies and she gobbled it up real quick. From 6 months of age and now, 9 months she's been enjoying 3 meals a day.

Now she loves eating a strip of bread on her own. I choose bread without sugar and eggs, gotta be wholemeal bread not white. At the beginning, I offered the bread for finger foods but now I have no choice to give her in every meal.

Yoghurt. She lovveess it to the last bit. I notice her mouth is fully opened when I feed her with yoghurt. So I decided to give her the combination of fruits with yoghurt with blueberries, apple and nectarine. Yep, no problem too. And I tried giving her spinach tofu with yoghurt, that, she doesn't have any problem. Pffhh...

Today, we let her play with the food. Yes, the table and her high chair were in the mess. She fed herself with noodle, bread, and spinach by picking one by one to her mouth using her little fingers. She played with the spoon and foods while I took opportunity to sneak a couple of food inside her mouth. Oh yes, she looked satisfied. But how long this is going to end? Does this mean that we can't eat in the restaurant anymore with her?

Brighter Discontent

I thought I'd like to post this beautiful song. It also to present it to my beautiful friend who will leave Singapore for good to down under. I'm having a broken heart, a meltdown ...

Weekend at East Coast Park

Embracing morning exercise, originally uploaded by L'Aubergine Grillée.

It feels right with the weather to go to the park in the morning. Three of us woke up early, and I rushed to prepare breakfast and lunch jars for Noelia.

The breezes, the early morning rays of sun, the colour of the sky have made us refreshed. We saw some folks were preparing morning Tai-Ji exercises.

Noelia loves the green grass where she discovered a few interesting objects. I think she even loves scretching exercises in the morning, she laughed and giggled when I pull her both legs up to her face. It feels good with the nature rather than confined in the little room.

On Sunday, we went there again to see our friends for a strolling. We are lucky to have the house near the park.

BBQ Picnic

Looking for a second hand camera

These days I've been away to focus myself to look for a camera. I've been looking in Ebay and other e-classifieds around, but the price is a lil' bit out of our budget. Yes, we are getting the second hand camera. Besides, I am confuse which kind of style of camera to get. I love to be able to have SLR type, but it is too bulky and heavy. The small ones are not powerful enough to capture good images.

Anyway, I need to be detached. It will come the good price for a good camera for me, I believe! So, I will take more pictures during our trip in France at the end of the year....

Laundry Day!!

Laundry Day!!, originally uploaded by L'Aubergine Grillée.

Eh Oui, when the sun is up all the laundry is hang up!

When I visit some cities like Beijing, Shanghai and even other parts of Singapore there are scene which intrigued me. Those are big metropolitan cities where most of the population live in the apartments, some are not ashamed of exposing outer-garments and underwear on long bambo poles to the public.

They are colourful and I love seeing them. Some photographer may find it amusing and captured them as an art. It is an ancient and important ritual every morning in the summer.

In my hometown, Jakarta, all of mothers are doing this common activities almost everyday. We live in the region where the sun shines all year long with a couple of rains and overcasted period in between. No dryer machine is needed, it is too costly to even have it. I'll bet they can go bankrupt in promoting the products there.

Last year for our laundry, we use the drying machine which provided by the owner of the house we rented. Because the house is sold to another person, the owner asked us to take everything that they left for us. Washing and dryer machine also the fridge are with us now. We are lucky with this kindness because we don't always buy a new things for new home. It safe us the trips to look, compare and delivery those machines from the shop. The machines still work well.

This year, we decided not to use it. Although we still have it, but we rather use nature to help us for this chore.

Some of our reasons not to use electric dryer machine, are;
- Save money
- Conserve energy and the environment.
- Clothes and sheets will smell summer sunshine.
- Sunlight bleaches and disinfects

If you have not tried doing it, please do so! This simple activity is one of the way to conserve and protect the environment. We can do our part!

Long summer in "Little Red Dot" country

Red flower, originally uploaded by Patty ODIER.

When she picks small object, her fingers dance and pinch to lift it up. She turns it upside down and back a few times. A few seconds later, it will be in her mouth to taste and discover the textures.

We hope to bring her to the park this weekend. This is to let her crawl around on the green grass. It is better to discover nature with barefeet, it will make her feet muscles stronger and build coordinations of legs and feet. She also enjoys the various surfaces (sands, carpets,cold tiles etc).

When she starts discovering the world ....

Ca y est!! She is 8 months 2 weeks, 7.9 kg and 69 cm.

She is not yet walking, but she likes to pull herself up to a stand by holding the edge of the table or sofa and walk around it. She wants everything to grasp into her chubby fingers. It will then be put in her mouth to taste. She makes loud noise when she bangs my wooden bangle on the table during her meals. I found the most amazing thing is to see the movement of her fingers taking a small bean. Her fingers are like dancing!

She has fascination to my mobile phone, camera or remote control. Sometimes I am shocked to found her playing with cable wires or falling off from a standing position. But I'll try not to put away the things that she holds abruptly and keep myself calm. By raising your voice and snatch the 'off-limit' stuff abruptly from her grasp, it will create frustation for the baby. Unless it is very dangerous and life-threatening, we certainly need to raise our voice to protect them from danger.

Ludo and I agreed that until she reach 3 years old, we can introduce "NO" concept. Meanwhile, we are learning to use "STOP" if she is anywhere near danger. Although we seldom use it, but we want her to know the concept. This is the age of curiosity, if we only say "NO" to her, that important word will have so many different meanings that it will confuse and not really tell her anything useful. We learn to help her to tell what we want her to do. For example instead of saying "Do not touch this, it's dangerous!", we say "it is hot, it will burn your finger if you touch it". Haha!! It may easy to say it here, we laugh about it everytime we should say it because we are so not used to. Oh well, it is for the sake of the baby we changed for tor the better. We think that "NO" is the easy word for baby to imitate it, hearing our little girl saying it often to us may add our frustation :-))

We knew that this is the beginning of her discovery .... as parent, we have so many things to learn about these age. This is the age where we need to stimulate her senses, helping her to understand the world, guide her to grow more. I'd like to see her growing to sniff our herbal plants, touch the textures of the soils, get dirty to plant the beans, touch the slimyyy fish, play with the water spray, they are all in our garden (we are lucky to have a small garden for her to explore). Dirt is her friends now, and we bath her using good old 'DETTOL' to kill germs and bacteria.

And I believe, every parent have their own style handling their children. Sometimes it's obvious around us, the western will adopt freedom and liberty for their children meanwhile Asian parents have the tendencies to always protect their children closely. Anything will work as long as we, as parent respect our children to develop and growing.

Oh baby room ...

I've been eyeing for Jacadi Paris Baby room. It's a perfect mix between European traditional and modern. It's simple design but soothing to my eyes. I thought I can design myself when I have a chance. Right now, Noelia's room is not ready. She still sleep in our room, in her playpen.

Ok ok...I am a good procastinator, maybe it's a daydreaming....

Fruit Therapy

I am feeling crappy today!! I've been down with cold and flu for almost five days, now I still have the coughs. My husband came back from a bussiness trip in Bali yesterday with cold too. The season has been not favourable for all of us, it was raining a few days and sunny hot days for a while. All I think about is our daughter, Noelia. I don't want her to get sick too.

I found 'good things' in the supermarket for our body to have energy to fight it. So, I bought a couple of Kiwis and avocados which I thought earlier for baby food puree. Well, she needs a good baby dose to survive this season too.

This Actinidia deliciosa fruit which native in Southern China contains high in Vitamin C. And according to a study of 6 and 7 year old children in Northern Italy that the more kiwis are consumed by young children, the less likely they have respiratory problem. The respiratory illness such as wheezing, coughing and asthma.

This emerald jewelled delights also contains flavanoids that help protect our cells from oxidative damage, and are therefore considered very helpful in protecting our DNA from mutations and damage.

A couple of kiwifruit each day may significantly lower your risk for blood clots and reduce the amount of fats (triglycerides) in your blood, therefore helping to protect cardiovascular health.

Yay! I'll get another one soon...hopefully, it will kick away my coughs! I'll get a dose for a baby too....

Being a parent means ... (another version)

Ha! Just got them from the internet. It's so cute!

Being a parent means watching traffic through your side mirrors and your child through the rear view mirror of your car because your afraid she'll cough on her crackers or even just bob her head to the music and you don't want to miss it.

It means getting light headed blowing up a whole house full of balloons just because it will make her smile.

It means timing everything you do around her world; what time you do errands, what time you cook dinner, make phone calls, everything.

Being a parent means you need to be one hundred percent okay with never watching a movie that has violence or swearing in the family room when they are awake. School will corrupt them, let's not send them in that way. It also means you need to be willing to sacrifice The Desperate Housewives, Sex in the City, and all other shows you would like to watch for DVD's of Sesame Street, Dora, and Finding Nemo, to the point of memorization. Literally, if her DVD's ever got lost, I could just act out her favorite show, and you know what? If she wanted me to, I would...

Being a parent means breathing deep and trying to stay calm when you have to tell her no for her own good when she just doesn't understand why oh why she can't have oreos for dinner instead of that meal that you made.

It means it hurts you more than it hurts her when you have to put her into time out for doing something that she needs to learn is inappropriate. It means being strong enough to have a show down with toddler who is bound and determined to spite you and prove to you that "no, she will not sit on that naughty step and you can't make her." But you have to, because if your a good mom it means you are raising a child that listens and respects others. Half an hour later when she realizes that you are not joking, never were joking, and will not joke, she will sit on her naughty step for her whole 120 seconds and realize that she should have done this a long time ago, and you will realize that you aren't doing so bad after all.

It means trying really hard not to smile at the adorable green picture that she just put on the surface of your coffee table. Yes it's Crayola marker and will wipe right off, but she doesn't know they don't all wipe off and since the rule is "we only write on paper" it's back to the naughty step for another two minutes of eternity.

Being a mom parent learning to carry your purse, the diaper bag, a sippie cup, a balloon, a teddy bear (or two) a shopping bag, and a squirming two year old all at the same time. It means learning to ignore that burning feeling you have in your arms right before they feel like their going to fall off and learning to hook your fingers together and just pray you make it to the door with out dropping everything. And then your arm hurts for about three hours but if you dare try and say "no, I can't color, I have no feeling in my bicep" you will, I guarantee, have a crying and devastated daughter because all she wants to do is scribbled on paper with you.

Once you become a parent you being to see the world for what it really is, a death trap to the joy in your life and you are instantly on protective duty twenty four hours a day, seeking out a random bead or penny that your careless friend or family member allowed to become a part of "her" world.

Being a parent means developing your "oh yea, what was I doing?" skills to the utmost degree. At least seventeen times a day you will be led by a small and somewhat sticky hand to the other room where you will be a hero and rescue the stuffed bunny from behind the chair, grab the cup that is just out of reach, remove the bug that is creeping towards her, or just plain get to look at something that well, you know what, that actually is kinda neat isn't it...

Being a parent means trying not to panic when they take a ride down the stairs in a laundry basket after they saw it in the Cat in The Hat because if you stay calm they will stay calm.

Being a parent means not looking your best because when you have time to make scrambled eggs or do your hair, you will make scrambled eggs. Then the phone rings, then the juice spills, then someones at the door, then the box of cereal gets spilled, then the fish need to be feed and the kids are determined to do it themselves (and spill it, or if your really lucky, they'll get water all overt the floor and slip on it and you'll have a goose egg to deal with instead.) And then, guess what, you still forgot to do your hair.

Parenthood brings out the best in you, as you begin to realize that life is not, and never was nor will be, about you. It revolves around those who depend on you. It removes selfish tendencies and nurtures a caring attitude.

Being a parent means you have to be ok with canceling plans that you have planned and looked forward all to week , simply because they get a fever or chill, or perhaps, you get them from Dad when you weren't expecting it. It means your social life does still revolve around parties, dinner dates, and going to the movies, but it is now tea parties, macaroni carpet picnics, and Surf's Up or Ratatouille featured on the living room big screen, popcorn included.

Being a parent means reading this whole list of stuff, laughing, and realizing that it's all true and you love it and wouldn't change a thing.

- burningbridges

What about you, what does being a parent to you?

Being a parent means ....

We've just became a parent 8 months ago, the feeling is surreal. I've always think that there are only certain people in the world can become the parents. They look like parent, talkative like parent, says 'No No No' to their children like our moms, they smile even the kids cry non-stop, they apologize to people when the kids show tantrums, they talk about their children so much, ooohhh... they just born to be parents.

Me, I never dreamed to be parent cos that involves lots of responsibilities. I always think I can become a working woman, busy to fix the affairs of the world, and sipping a cup of coffee in Sunday afternoon with friends without shrieking noises. I want to travel light means no emotional bagages, no souvenirs or toys to bring, shop what I like till I drop.

My husband, oh well...if he knows I am writing about him here he will questioned me so much. He sneezes with mouth open, he makes explosion noise by clapping both hands with tissue plastic cover in it to open them, in the restaurant! and a couple of other things. I thought being a parent means being a good person, showing good example to children, calm in every situation and have a good manner? Both of us are not what we picture the parent to be.

A baby came in November 2007. We had a crash course to become parent for 9 months, and now we are asking left and right to do what is the best. It's been quite a rough ride in the beginning. In what I believe in the Baha'i Faith, the station of parents is incredibly lofty. Our prophet, Baha'u'llah says,

"The fruits that best befit the tree of human life are trustworthiness and godliness, truthfulness and sincerity; but greater than all, after recognition of the unity of God, praised and glorified be He, is regard for the rights that are due to one’s parents. This teaching hath been mentioned in all the Books of God,and reaffirmed by the Most Exalted Pen. Consider that which the Merciful Lord hath revealed in the Qur’án, exalted are His words: “Worship ye God, join with Him no peer or likeness; and show forth kindliness and charity towards your parents…” Observe how loving-kindness to one’s parents hath been linked to recognition of the one true God!”

Those writing above are one of the reason we choose the path. We learn ourselves from becoming the parent for our children, we love and show our gratitude to God because we have the children, we show the wonderful nature that God has provide for us, we show kindness and trustwothiness because we hope our children will grow to be a better human beings than us, and so on....why do we refuse to have such bounty?

Another writings below is from 'Abdu'l-Baha;

"As for thee, have for them an abundant love and exert thine utmost in training them, so that their being may grow through the milk of the love of God, for as much as it is the duty of parents to perfectly and thoroughly train their children."- 'Abdu'l-Baha

Now we are parent of a beautiful daughter! Should we think to have more than one? I think we should deal with one first :-)....

Hopping off to Bintan island ...

We have attempted so many times to take a trip to Bintan a long time ago. Last weekend we finally there toute en famille!! We visited our cousin who lives in Angsana Resort Bintan with her small family. I imagined that we were going spend a lot of time in the sunny beach or swimming pool in a bright wonderful days. Alas, the weathers were overcasted with a couple of rains throughout our stay.

Before I packed the bag, I promised that I will challenge myself to travel light. We hae a choice between going to Bali or Bintan, a nearby island. Oh well, I chosed the latest with the beach, lovely cousin's family and good nature, it's cheap too. We do not have to spend so much money for vacationing in one weekend, the further destination will not be so eco-friendly considering the amount of carbon (fuels) emmission of air plane of 2.5 hours journey. This is one of the ways to reduce the environmental impact of our trip, beside it's a small little island far from civilization (read: consumerism). There's nothing to buy and we do not travel so much around the island (it's much bigger than Singapore!). It's a small little compound where it has a big outdoor pool, beach, food, bed to sleep, lizards and greenery areas. Oohh, now I can understand why my cousin needs a retail theraphy once she get out of that island ;-) But we just Luuuuurrrvveee it to be there cos it's quiet, especially my husband who is workalcoholic!

So, a couple of baby clothes (1 pajamas + swim suit), 13 disposable nappies, 3 clothes nappies, her vitamins, 4 days supply frozen baby puree, 3 baby bottles, 1 baby food grinder, a stroller, milk powder for a few days, my clothes, sport shoes, 1small ziplock of make-up stuffs (I used to carry 2 big bags before), Voila! All in one bag!

But of course, Ludo has to bring one bag with 1 laptop, and a couple of books with his clothes. He said he's in "vacation mood".

Yay! For once we see the sun in one hot afternoon, we were swimming in the pool. I participated a bit in the pool gym which they organized for the hotel guests in the resort. I was trying to shake a couple of pounds off the baby fat. Noelia bounced happily to meet Cathie, 20 months old cousin who is really dynamic and active throughout the day. Furthermore, my cousin managed to pull me for a jog around the compound, but Ludo did the whole compound alone and he's proud of it. Thanks Taree, I felt my body is lighter after that exercise, and those irresistible choc cookies made by her mom are the good rewards for me :-)


The beach was the highlight of this trip. It was the first time that we took Noelia to the beach, ok we do not count East Coast beach. The sands are white, beautiful blue sky, the waves, the sounds of the wind and water splashing are the discovery activity for her. In the morning is the best time for her cos she's wide awake at 7 am and afternoon around 5 pm. I let her crawled around the soft sandy beach barefooted. She needs to use all her senses of sights, smells, sounds, and touch. Love it when her little toes curled when the waves hit her toes.... But beware of direct sunlight in the brightful day!

Of course, she loves to touch the sands with her fingers. Sometimes, she put them in her mouth, so I really need to be in full attention for her.

There are the most important things to take with you to enjoy the beach with baby;
1. Baby Sunscreen
There are many baby sunscreen around the market. As long as it is SPF 15 and above, it's good enough. You must apply this even in the overcasted weather between 10 am -4 pm
2. Bugs/Mosquitos reppellent
In many beaches, the sandsflies and other sands bugs are attracted to soft baby's skin
3. Sunshade or Umbrella
Their sensitive skin will get easily burn in 10-15 min.
4. Baby Sunglasses or Hat/scarf
Their eyes are still sensitive to the bright sun. This particularly for baby at around 4-7 months. I used a scarf for Noelia in the beach for her late afternoon walk, it is to protect her hair from sands. At that very young age, they may put their head on the sands, play with them or splashed by the sandy waves. Well, it is easier for me to clean her after that.
5. Swim wear with UV protection
6. Towel and a couple of muslin squares
Those are to wipe dry their body or as the cover.
7. Drink Liquid
Get them to drink lotsa lotsa water for big baby and toddler.

Voila! We are ready for another beach vacation!

Old stuffs for new baby...hand-me-downs, Love it!

Grandmere gave beautiful old and new clothes from family in France for Noelia. She's really a lucky baby! When my parent-in-law came to visit us last year, they are the Santa Claus from North Pole...most of the gifts wrapped for Noelia who was home barely a week from ICU ward.

Talking about her, she had an operation after the birth to let the first stools came out, and she suffered from breathing difficulties. She was in ICU for 21 days because of other complications, and was given antibiotics during the stay. She had another 3 weeks in Special Care Unit for recuperation. Although she's a full-term baby, she is relatively small whose weighed 2.67 kg at birth. She had a stoma pouch which collect her poos for about 3 months. On Jan 31st, the doctor did the closure of ileostomy (the opening of the right colon to the skin surface which attached to the stoma pouch). Now, she's growing rapidly like a sprout!!!

We received lots of prayers and thoughts from family and friends around the world. We were so thankful of all tremendous supports from them during difficult times. The gifts of baby clothes and stuffs that we received encourage us to stay positive all the time. We said to ourselves that we would like her to wear these wonderful clothes, play these toys, and read these colourful books. We survived.

During the pregancy, we bought a couple of hand-me-downs baby stuffs from Yahoo Auctions and Ebay. They are a great website to look for cheap stuffs! We pledged not to caught up in the consumption pattern for massive baby stuffs which possess most soon-to-be-parents. The growing baby will only use them the most in 4 months.

We bought white wooden baby cot which costs $50, playpen costs $50, bottles sterilizer $20, maxi-cosi baby car seat costs $150, baby carrier-Baby Bjorn costs $50, STOKKE high chair costs $280 (a month old-new one is $598), maclaren techno XT (bought when still in the box) costs $300, and lotsa baby clothes and toy's gifts. What a bargain!!

Recently, Noelia wore Ludo's baby clothes and her cousins. I can't believe her mom still keep all those baby clothes. She gave me also the good baby bibs which she sewed herself for all 4 children. Here in this picture, she put Ludo's baby outfit! Merci Grandmere! She even did a wool jacket for Noelia to wear during winter in Paris. It means soo much to us having these beautiful clothes for our baby.

A couple of months ago, my friend who has 2 beautiful children (and stop at 2!) gave us wonderful baby clothes. We have rompers, everyday outfits, booties, pajamas, hats, and etc. Who needs to go shopping? I have a supply at least for 6-8 months baby. My cousin who has cute daughter gave me some big pajamas which Noelia wears them today. Thank you Rita! Thanks Ina!

Realizing that I have started my slow year in the beginning of 2008 by limiting consumption and be creative. Hopefully, more coming for hand-me-down toys and other clothes!

In the beginning, we were really worried that baby means unbearable costs. But now as we go along, we manage to do it well so far! It doesn't cost a thing to have good friends ...

Goodie Bags = Happiness?

DSC01781, originally uploaded by Patty ODIER.

I joined the Harmony Walk 2008 on the 6th of July, organised by Community Development Councils and grass roots leaders in Singapore. It was just 30 minutes walk where we were entertained by diversity of music, dance, singing, foods from all over Singapore. The message was simple, to encourage communication to all different races to achieve unity in this little country.

I came with friends from the Baha'i Community of Singapore. I was really proud to be able to join this event. Finally, no baby for a day! It is easy when my mom is around, Noelia is having fun at home with her. My husband took me there and left immediately for his meditation session at 8.30 am.

In the finish line, I saw the crowd re-grouped into different CDC or ethnicity again. This time, they distributed orange goodie bags and they looked really proud carrying them. On the stage, the entertainment from different ethnic groups has begun. I regretted what I saw everywhere on the grass field. There were Paper styrofoams, plastic spoons and other garbages including these paper goodie bags.... people are gonna toss them in the bin after usage. The organizer produce hundreds of them, why are using them if we are aware that this will create more waste in this planet?
Furthermore, paper comes from trees...lots and lots of trees. The process of chopping the trees down, colouring, bleaching etc for plastic or paper bags are threatening this dirty earth.

Ready to freeze!

Ready for freeze!, originally uploaded by Patty ODIER.

Since Noelia started to eat solid a month and half ago, I have been making so many puree veggies and fruits and stored them in the freezer. Now, I realize that I need a bigger fridge and more ice cube trays to store them.

This is her favourite so far, sweet potato puree with pear or cereal. We are trying to stay far from commercial baby jar. Well, I bought 1 jar of baby food which now I reuse the jar to keep homemade baby puree sealed when we are travelling out. With intense ads about choosing the best for the baby is commercial baby jar, it wasn't easy for me at the beginning until I've done my research. I found out that a jar of commercial baby food contains water and modified starch. Even baby juice are just a rip-off! It's really sweet like adult juice...why would I pay more for baby juice which it supposed to be diluted 3x the portion to give to baby. I should get adult juice and diluted to give baby.

Although it looks healthier with organic food jar, they contain additives such as sugar, salt and thickener. They may lose nutritional value from processing and shelf time. Talking about 'healthier' organic baby food jar, they may put one organic ingredient and claim 'organic' for the rest of the content. It's purely agressive marketing! I'm so not going to buy this cheap marketing....Those were the days where new parents buy commercial baby food so it will be perceived well-to do and modern.

Last weekend, I managed to compile a list of nutritional value of fruits and veggies. I carefully selected the menu for Noelia to fulfil her needs for certain vitamin. We observe her stools to find out if certain foods may affect her. Once we found that her stools were a bit harder, so I got her brocolli, banana, and apple. I steamed and then put them in food processor. The other benefit we get from this home made puree which sometimes lumpy (not-so-puree) will get the baby to chew the food. This is good because the muscles to chew the food are the same muscles used for speech, so chewing will help with the baby's speech development.

And I am getting addicted to make this baby puree!

I hope she will get used to it with quality food rather than burger, (oily) french fries and fried chicken (KFC). Yiikkees! Read more about Cheating Babies here.

Growing Pains....

Aahh, It's been 2 weeks we have noticed that two of her incisor teef' at the bottom are growing out. Those weeks, she looked calm and playful as usual. But today after 2 days fever on the weekend, she is very fussy. But she still sleep through the night (Gosh, we are lucky!) She wants to sleep but cries when we put her in bed. We try to keep her spirits up by entertaining her with music and dance, her big smiles appear wide when we do the hand movement of 'Trois petite marionettes' song.

A couple of months ago, I found Amber Teething necklace for her teething preparation. She wears them everyday, except bath time. This resin has medicinal effect to soothe the pain and discomfort of teething. In France, they even sell it in the pharmacy and let the babies or small children wear it. How do they work? when the resin comes in to contact with the warmth of the baby skin, it releases healing oils. It will then be absorbed via skin into the bloodstream. The oils release from amber contains succinic acid which stimulate thyroid glands to reduce drooling and soothe red inflamed cheeks as well as having calmative, analgesic, antispasmodic, expectorant, and febrifuge (anti-fever) functions.

We also have Chamomile Homeopathy tablet which comes handy if she cries non-stop. Both has good results during this period. Voila! We will try anything that works in this period to help her.

New Look...

Well, I just lost the dashboard on my previous blog! So I transferred all the text to this new colourful blog of mine. It was because I was absent for a few days and forgot the password to enter the blog again. But hei, I managed to download the design from the web as I prefer something really unique, colorful but simple...

From now on, I will write more into this page.

The beginning

It's going to be the first blog ever in my life. I will write things like probably about my spiritual journey, baby and food. These are the things that I love!
I hope it also be an interesting theme to read in my slow year. My life is dwindling down since last year in 2007 where I was pregnant with my first daughter. Now, I am dedicating my life to her happiness and moulding her future to preserve our Gaia.