Being a parent means ... (another version)

Ha! Just got them from the internet. It's so cute!

Being a parent means watching traffic through your side mirrors and your child through the rear view mirror of your car because your afraid she'll cough on her crackers or even just bob her head to the music and you don't want to miss it.

It means getting light headed blowing up a whole house full of balloons just because it will make her smile.

It means timing everything you do around her world; what time you do errands, what time you cook dinner, make phone calls, everything.

Being a parent means you need to be one hundred percent okay with never watching a movie that has violence or swearing in the family room when they are awake. School will corrupt them, let's not send them in that way. It also means you need to be willing to sacrifice The Desperate Housewives, Sex in the City, and all other shows you would like to watch for DVD's of Sesame Street, Dora, and Finding Nemo, to the point of memorization. Literally, if her DVD's ever got lost, I could just act out her favorite show, and you know what? If she wanted me to, I would...

Being a parent means breathing deep and trying to stay calm when you have to tell her no for her own good when she just doesn't understand why oh why she can't have oreos for dinner instead of that meal that you made.

It means it hurts you more than it hurts her when you have to put her into time out for doing something that she needs to learn is inappropriate. It means being strong enough to have a show down with toddler who is bound and determined to spite you and prove to you that "no, she will not sit on that naughty step and you can't make her." But you have to, because if your a good mom it means you are raising a child that listens and respects others. Half an hour later when she realizes that you are not joking, never were joking, and will not joke, she will sit on her naughty step for her whole 120 seconds and realize that she should have done this a long time ago, and you will realize that you aren't doing so bad after all.

It means trying really hard not to smile at the adorable green picture that she just put on the surface of your coffee table. Yes it's Crayola marker and will wipe right off, but she doesn't know they don't all wipe off and since the rule is "we only write on paper" it's back to the naughty step for another two minutes of eternity.

Being a mom parent learning to carry your purse, the diaper bag, a sippie cup, a balloon, a teddy bear (or two) a shopping bag, and a squirming two year old all at the same time. It means learning to ignore that burning feeling you have in your arms right before they feel like their going to fall off and learning to hook your fingers together and just pray you make it to the door with out dropping everything. And then your arm hurts for about three hours but if you dare try and say "no, I can't color, I have no feeling in my bicep" you will, I guarantee, have a crying and devastated daughter because all she wants to do is scribbled on paper with you.

Once you become a parent you being to see the world for what it really is, a death trap to the joy in your life and you are instantly on protective duty twenty four hours a day, seeking out a random bead or penny that your careless friend or family member allowed to become a part of "her" world.

Being a parent means developing your "oh yea, what was I doing?" skills to the utmost degree. At least seventeen times a day you will be led by a small and somewhat sticky hand to the other room where you will be a hero and rescue the stuffed bunny from behind the chair, grab the cup that is just out of reach, remove the bug that is creeping towards her, or just plain get to look at something that well, you know what, that actually is kinda neat isn't it...

Being a parent means trying not to panic when they take a ride down the stairs in a laundry basket after they saw it in the Cat in The Hat because if you stay calm they will stay calm.

Being a parent means not looking your best because when you have time to make scrambled eggs or do your hair, you will make scrambled eggs. Then the phone rings, then the juice spills, then someones at the door, then the box of cereal gets spilled, then the fish need to be feed and the kids are determined to do it themselves (and spill it, or if your really lucky, they'll get water all overt the floor and slip on it and you'll have a goose egg to deal with instead.) And then, guess what, you still forgot to do your hair.

Parenthood brings out the best in you, as you begin to realize that life is not, and never was nor will be, about you. It revolves around those who depend on you. It removes selfish tendencies and nurtures a caring attitude.

Being a parent means you have to be ok with canceling plans that you have planned and looked forward all to week , simply because they get a fever or chill, or perhaps, you get them from Dad when you weren't expecting it. It means your social life does still revolve around parties, dinner dates, and going to the movies, but it is now tea parties, macaroni carpet picnics, and Surf's Up or Ratatouille featured on the living room big screen, popcorn included.

Being a parent means reading this whole list of stuff, laughing, and realizing that it's all true and you love it and wouldn't change a thing.

- burningbridges

What about you, what does being a parent to you?

Being a parent means ....

We've just became a parent 8 months ago, the feeling is surreal. I've always think that there are only certain people in the world can become the parents. They look like parent, talkative like parent, says 'No No No' to their children like our moms, they smile even the kids cry non-stop, they apologize to people when the kids show tantrums, they talk about their children so much, ooohhh... they just born to be parents.

Me, I never dreamed to be parent cos that involves lots of responsibilities. I always think I can become a working woman, busy to fix the affairs of the world, and sipping a cup of coffee in Sunday afternoon with friends without shrieking noises. I want to travel light means no emotional bagages, no souvenirs or toys to bring, shop what I like till I drop.

My husband, oh well...if he knows I am writing about him here he will questioned me so much. He sneezes with mouth open, he makes explosion noise by clapping both hands with tissue plastic cover in it to open them, in the restaurant! and a couple of other things. I thought being a parent means being a good person, showing good example to children, calm in every situation and have a good manner? Both of us are not what we picture the parent to be.

A baby came in November 2007. We had a crash course to become parent for 9 months, and now we are asking left and right to do what is the best. It's been quite a rough ride in the beginning. In what I believe in the Baha'i Faith, the station of parents is incredibly lofty. Our prophet, Baha'u'llah says,

"The fruits that best befit the tree of human life are trustworthiness and godliness, truthfulness and sincerity; but greater than all, after recognition of the unity of God, praised and glorified be He, is regard for the rights that are due to one’s parents. This teaching hath been mentioned in all the Books of God,and reaffirmed by the Most Exalted Pen. Consider that which the Merciful Lord hath revealed in the Qur’án, exalted are His words: “Worship ye God, join with Him no peer or likeness; and show forth kindliness and charity towards your parents…” Observe how loving-kindness to one’s parents hath been linked to recognition of the one true God!”

Those writing above are one of the reason we choose the path. We learn ourselves from becoming the parent for our children, we love and show our gratitude to God because we have the children, we show the wonderful nature that God has provide for us, we show kindness and trustwothiness because we hope our children will grow to be a better human beings than us, and so on....why do we refuse to have such bounty?

Another writings below is from 'Abdu'l-Baha;

"As for thee, have for them an abundant love and exert thine utmost in training them, so that their being may grow through the milk of the love of God, for as much as it is the duty of parents to perfectly and thoroughly train their children."- 'Abdu'l-Baha

Now we are parent of a beautiful daughter! Should we think to have more than one? I think we should deal with one first :-)....

Hopping off to Bintan island ...

We have attempted so many times to take a trip to Bintan a long time ago. Last weekend we finally there toute en famille!! We visited our cousin who lives in Angsana Resort Bintan with her small family. I imagined that we were going spend a lot of time in the sunny beach or swimming pool in a bright wonderful days. Alas, the weathers were overcasted with a couple of rains throughout our stay.

Before I packed the bag, I promised that I will challenge myself to travel light. We hae a choice between going to Bali or Bintan, a nearby island. Oh well, I chosed the latest with the beach, lovely cousin's family and good nature, it's cheap too. We do not have to spend so much money for vacationing in one weekend, the further destination will not be so eco-friendly considering the amount of carbon (fuels) emmission of air plane of 2.5 hours journey. This is one of the ways to reduce the environmental impact of our trip, beside it's a small little island far from civilization (read: consumerism). There's nothing to buy and we do not travel so much around the island (it's much bigger than Singapore!). It's a small little compound where it has a big outdoor pool, beach, food, bed to sleep, lizards and greenery areas. Oohh, now I can understand why my cousin needs a retail theraphy once she get out of that island ;-) But we just Luuuuurrrvveee it to be there cos it's quiet, especially my husband who is workalcoholic!

So, a couple of baby clothes (1 pajamas + swim suit), 13 disposable nappies, 3 clothes nappies, her vitamins, 4 days supply frozen baby puree, 3 baby bottles, 1 baby food grinder, a stroller, milk powder for a few days, my clothes, sport shoes, 1small ziplock of make-up stuffs (I used to carry 2 big bags before), Voila! All in one bag!

But of course, Ludo has to bring one bag with 1 laptop, and a couple of books with his clothes. He said he's in "vacation mood".

Yay! For once we see the sun in one hot afternoon, we were swimming in the pool. I participated a bit in the pool gym which they organized for the hotel guests in the resort. I was trying to shake a couple of pounds off the baby fat. Noelia bounced happily to meet Cathie, 20 months old cousin who is really dynamic and active throughout the day. Furthermore, my cousin managed to pull me for a jog around the compound, but Ludo did the whole compound alone and he's proud of it. Thanks Taree, I felt my body is lighter after that exercise, and those irresistible choc cookies made by her mom are the good rewards for me :-)


The beach was the highlight of this trip. It was the first time that we took Noelia to the beach, ok we do not count East Coast beach. The sands are white, beautiful blue sky, the waves, the sounds of the wind and water splashing are the discovery activity for her. In the morning is the best time for her cos she's wide awake at 7 am and afternoon around 5 pm. I let her crawled around the soft sandy beach barefooted. She needs to use all her senses of sights, smells, sounds, and touch. Love it when her little toes curled when the waves hit her toes.... But beware of direct sunlight in the brightful day!

Of course, she loves to touch the sands with her fingers. Sometimes, she put them in her mouth, so I really need to be in full attention for her.

There are the most important things to take with you to enjoy the beach with baby;
1. Baby Sunscreen
There are many baby sunscreen around the market. As long as it is SPF 15 and above, it's good enough. You must apply this even in the overcasted weather between 10 am -4 pm
2. Bugs/Mosquitos reppellent
In many beaches, the sandsflies and other sands bugs are attracted to soft baby's skin
3. Sunshade or Umbrella
Their sensitive skin will get easily burn in 10-15 min.
4. Baby Sunglasses or Hat/scarf
Their eyes are still sensitive to the bright sun. This particularly for baby at around 4-7 months. I used a scarf for Noelia in the beach for her late afternoon walk, it is to protect her hair from sands. At that very young age, they may put their head on the sands, play with them or splashed by the sandy waves. Well, it is easier for me to clean her after that.
5. Swim wear with UV protection
6. Towel and a couple of muslin squares
Those are to wipe dry their body or as the cover.
7. Drink Liquid
Get them to drink lotsa lotsa water for big baby and toddler.

Voila! We are ready for another beach vacation!

Old stuffs for new baby...hand-me-downs, Love it!

Grandmere gave beautiful old and new clothes from family in France for Noelia. She's really a lucky baby! When my parent-in-law came to visit us last year, they are the Santa Claus from North Pole...most of the gifts wrapped for Noelia who was home barely a week from ICU ward.

Talking about her, she had an operation after the birth to let the first stools came out, and she suffered from breathing difficulties. She was in ICU for 21 days because of other complications, and was given antibiotics during the stay. She had another 3 weeks in Special Care Unit for recuperation. Although she's a full-term baby, she is relatively small whose weighed 2.67 kg at birth. She had a stoma pouch which collect her poos for about 3 months. On Jan 31st, the doctor did the closure of ileostomy (the opening of the right colon to the skin surface which attached to the stoma pouch). Now, she's growing rapidly like a sprout!!!

We received lots of prayers and thoughts from family and friends around the world. We were so thankful of all tremendous supports from them during difficult times. The gifts of baby clothes and stuffs that we received encourage us to stay positive all the time. We said to ourselves that we would like her to wear these wonderful clothes, play these toys, and read these colourful books. We survived.

During the pregancy, we bought a couple of hand-me-downs baby stuffs from Yahoo Auctions and Ebay. They are a great website to look for cheap stuffs! We pledged not to caught up in the consumption pattern for massive baby stuffs which possess most soon-to-be-parents. The growing baby will only use them the most in 4 months.

We bought white wooden baby cot which costs $50, playpen costs $50, bottles sterilizer $20, maxi-cosi baby car seat costs $150, baby carrier-Baby Bjorn costs $50, STOKKE high chair costs $280 (a month old-new one is $598), maclaren techno XT (bought when still in the box) costs $300, and lotsa baby clothes and toy's gifts. What a bargain!!

Recently, Noelia wore Ludo's baby clothes and her cousins. I can't believe her mom still keep all those baby clothes. She gave me also the good baby bibs which she sewed herself for all 4 children. Here in this picture, she put Ludo's baby outfit! Merci Grandmere! She even did a wool jacket for Noelia to wear during winter in Paris. It means soo much to us having these beautiful clothes for our baby.

A couple of months ago, my friend who has 2 beautiful children (and stop at 2!) gave us wonderful baby clothes. We have rompers, everyday outfits, booties, pajamas, hats, and etc. Who needs to go shopping? I have a supply at least for 6-8 months baby. My cousin who has cute daughter gave me some big pajamas which Noelia wears them today. Thank you Rita! Thanks Ina!

Realizing that I have started my slow year in the beginning of 2008 by limiting consumption and be creative. Hopefully, more coming for hand-me-down toys and other clothes!

In the beginning, we were really worried that baby means unbearable costs. But now as we go along, we manage to do it well so far! It doesn't cost a thing to have good friends ...

Goodie Bags = Happiness?

DSC01781, originally uploaded by Patty ODIER.

I joined the Harmony Walk 2008 on the 6th of July, organised by Community Development Councils and grass roots leaders in Singapore. It was just 30 minutes walk where we were entertained by diversity of music, dance, singing, foods from all over Singapore. The message was simple, to encourage communication to all different races to achieve unity in this little country.

I came with friends from the Baha'i Community of Singapore. I was really proud to be able to join this event. Finally, no baby for a day! It is easy when my mom is around, Noelia is having fun at home with her. My husband took me there and left immediately for his meditation session at 8.30 am.

In the finish line, I saw the crowd re-grouped into different CDC or ethnicity again. This time, they distributed orange goodie bags and they looked really proud carrying them. On the stage, the entertainment from different ethnic groups has begun. I regretted what I saw everywhere on the grass field. There were Paper styrofoams, plastic spoons and other garbages including these paper goodie bags.... people are gonna toss them in the bin after usage. The organizer produce hundreds of them, why are using them if we are aware that this will create more waste in this planet?
Furthermore, paper comes from trees...lots and lots of trees. The process of chopping the trees down, colouring, bleaching etc for plastic or paper bags are threatening this dirty earth.

Ready to freeze!

Ready for freeze!, originally uploaded by Patty ODIER.

Since Noelia started to eat solid a month and half ago, I have been making so many puree veggies and fruits and stored them in the freezer. Now, I realize that I need a bigger fridge and more ice cube trays to store them.

This is her favourite so far, sweet potato puree with pear or cereal. We are trying to stay far from commercial baby jar. Well, I bought 1 jar of baby food which now I reuse the jar to keep homemade baby puree sealed when we are travelling out. With intense ads about choosing the best for the baby is commercial baby jar, it wasn't easy for me at the beginning until I've done my research. I found out that a jar of commercial baby food contains water and modified starch. Even baby juice are just a rip-off! It's really sweet like adult juice...why would I pay more for baby juice which it supposed to be diluted 3x the portion to give to baby. I should get adult juice and diluted to give baby.

Although it looks healthier with organic food jar, they contain additives such as sugar, salt and thickener. They may lose nutritional value from processing and shelf time. Talking about 'healthier' organic baby food jar, they may put one organic ingredient and claim 'organic' for the rest of the content. It's purely agressive marketing! I'm so not going to buy this cheap marketing....Those were the days where new parents buy commercial baby food so it will be perceived well-to do and modern.

Last weekend, I managed to compile a list of nutritional value of fruits and veggies. I carefully selected the menu for Noelia to fulfil her needs for certain vitamin. We observe her stools to find out if certain foods may affect her. Once we found that her stools were a bit harder, so I got her brocolli, banana, and apple. I steamed and then put them in food processor. The other benefit we get from this home made puree which sometimes lumpy (not-so-puree) will get the baby to chew the food. This is good because the muscles to chew the food are the same muscles used for speech, so chewing will help with the baby's speech development.

And I am getting addicted to make this baby puree!

I hope she will get used to it with quality food rather than burger, (oily) french fries and fried chicken (KFC). Yiikkees! Read more about Cheating Babies here.

Growing Pains....

Aahh, It's been 2 weeks we have noticed that two of her incisor teef' at the bottom are growing out. Those weeks, she looked calm and playful as usual. But today after 2 days fever on the weekend, she is very fussy. But she still sleep through the night (Gosh, we are lucky!) She wants to sleep but cries when we put her in bed. We try to keep her spirits up by entertaining her with music and dance, her big smiles appear wide when we do the hand movement of 'Trois petite marionettes' song.

A couple of months ago, I found Amber Teething necklace for her teething preparation. She wears them everyday, except bath time. This resin has medicinal effect to soothe the pain and discomfort of teething. In France, they even sell it in the pharmacy and let the babies or small children wear it. How do they work? when the resin comes in to contact with the warmth of the baby skin, it releases healing oils. It will then be absorbed via skin into the bloodstream. The oils release from amber contains succinic acid which stimulate thyroid glands to reduce drooling and soothe red inflamed cheeks as well as having calmative, analgesic, antispasmodic, expectorant, and febrifuge (anti-fever) functions.

We also have Chamomile Homeopathy tablet which comes handy if she cries non-stop. Both has good results during this period. Voila! We will try anything that works in this period to help her.

New Look...

Well, I just lost the dashboard on my previous blog! So I transferred all the text to this new colourful blog of mine. It was because I was absent for a few days and forgot the password to enter the blog again. But hei, I managed to download the design from the web as I prefer something really unique, colorful but simple...

From now on, I will write more into this page.

The beginning

It's going to be the first blog ever in my life. I will write things like probably about my spiritual journey, baby and food. These are the things that I love!
I hope it also be an interesting theme to read in my slow year. My life is dwindling down since last year in 2007 where I was pregnant with my first daughter. Now, I am dedicating my life to her happiness and moulding her future to preserve our Gaia.