Lovely

Lovely, originally uploaded by L'Aubergine Grillée.

Off to the park Bagatelle, Bolougne in the hot day.

Getting "off the hook" for a while...

I am gonna have my written final exam this saturday afternoon. And I am practically busting my butt off to 'digest' the extraordinary French grammar in a few nights. In the day, I am busy with my demanding role as a full time mom. The house is empty as my parents-in-law went off for a wedding in Bretagne, north east of France and will be back on Monday.

But I have welcomed my niece to stay over for a few days because her family will be spending a week of vacation outside Paris. They only take the other 2 kids, and she stays with me cos she will need to attend a class on Friday. Her school is 1 minute away from our apartment, so it is convenient for her too. She's 11 years old, a teenager.

Ok, practically I am a mom and a baby sitter...I am a nocturnal too.

So, I will try to be focus and stay away from internet blogging or surfing. Will write soon!!

Spring fashion for children

A few months after I became a mom, I get connected to the network of moms. It's pretty fun to read and share their experiences. I've got to know some moms who live in Singapore, Europe and USA from networking. And one of them is Leonny, her website Our Everyday Things shares her practical parenting and motherhood tips of her two adorable children.

Leonny Atmadja, an Indonesian lady who lives in Singapore with her family shares her ups and downs being a parent. It's interesting to read her blog as it shares some simple creative activities for the toddlers. And the most important thing is how to enjoy the parenting's tasks.

Recently, she opened an online shopping store for children fashion called Spring Kids which she employed her cute and photogenic children to be her models. You need to check out the website and get the latest spring fashion for your little ones!

During the opening launch her online store, there's a giveaway contest and big discount for selected items. The contest is open until 31 May 2009 and for you who live in Indonesia or Australia, you are welcome to join too!

A windy weekend with Noelia's cousins!

Zen-ing your zone, Mama!

I know, it's international mother's day.And I have been a mother for about 18 months, and I say 'what a ride'!

We just got back from a weekend getaway with the family of my husband. We went to Revel in the South of France and rented some chalets with 7 toddlers and 2 adolescents. It is situated in a nice green space with a swimming pool facilities. We had a real fun together as a big family in the southern France compound where the children get to catch up with cousins and play. It is one of rare occasion that the family can be together as some of us live miles away from each other.

Did I mention surrounded by 'children'? Oohh, children!! How life could be fun on your side but it is a lot of work for the adults to raise you? I have been spending quite a bit of time with some young parents with younger kids. Of course, in our background there are must be shoutings, cries, laughs, accidents, bleeds, breaking furnitures, runs, and lotsa other 'fun' things. As time to time, I heard the parents who want to keep control of their children says, "Eat properly", "Play gently", "Don't run", "Eat with spoon and fork", "Be nice", "Don't eat this", "Get out", "Eat your lunch", "Don't cry" etc.

I do feel sorry for the children who can't contain themselves to be curious and make mistakes for their development. We think sometimes they push our buttons real hard. We may become depressed and emotional at work or elsewhere if we have relatively bad incidence with our childen. I have seen it everywhere and even our mom and dad did the same thing during our childhood. We've been told not to do this or that, if not something bad would happened.

I am looking carefully for other solutions more than screaming off our children all the time.

I am reading "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle and I thought it is probably relevant to the subject I have been searching all this time. Haha, Yes...I am getting ready to face a toddler's life soon! Those once cherub angels' faces may turn upside down our life. It is part of our growing up too, yes we are! Any form of activity to calm our mind such as yoga, meditation, or pilates and so on may not be effective if we do not change our ways of parenting.
.......

"Many children harbor hidden anger and resentment towards their parents and often the cause is in-authenticity in the relationship, the child has a deep longing for the parent to be there as a human being not as a role, no matter how conscientiously that role is being played. You may be doing all the right things and the best you can for your child but even doing the best you can is not enough. In fact doing is never enough if you neglect being.How can you bring being into a busy family, into the relationship you have with your child? The key is to give your child attention.

There are two kinds of attention, one we may call form-based attention, the other is formless attention. Form-based attention is always connected in some way with doing or evaluating, “Have you done your homework? Eat your dinner, tidy up your room…….do this, do that, hurry up, get ready.”

Form-based attention is necessary and of course has its place, but if that is all there is in the relationship with your child then the most vital dimension is missing and being becomes directly obscured by doing. Formless attention is inseparable with the dimension of being.

How does it work?

As you look at, listen to, touch or help your child with this or that you are alert, still, completely present, not wanting anything other than that moment as it is. In this way you make room for being. In that moment, if you are present, you are not a mother or father, you are the alertness, the stillness, the presence that is looking, listening, touching, even speaking. You are the being behind the doing.

In the human dimension, you are unquestionably superior to your child; you are bigger, stronger, know more, can do more – if that dimension is all you know, you will feel superior to your child, if only unconsciously and you will make your child feel inferior, if only unconsciously. There is no equality between you and your child because there is only form in your relationship and in form you are not equal. You may love your child but your love will be human only, that is to say conditional, possessive, intermittent. Only beyond form and in being are you equal and only when you find the formless dimension in yourself can there be true love in that relationship. The presence that you are recognises itself in another and the other, the child in this case, feels loved, that is to say recognised.

The longing for love that is in every child is the longing to be recognised, not on the level of form, but on the level of being. If parents honor only the human dimension of the child but neglect being, the child will sense that the relationship is unfulfilled, that something absolutely vital is missing and there will be a build up of pain in the child and sometimes unconscious resentment towards the parents. “Why don’t you recognise me?” This what the pain or resentment seems to be saying....." Eckhart Tolle.


Happy Mother's Day! Hope we have a Zen day ....

Viva La Vida

I am learning the history of France at the moment at school. This song could accompany me while studying Eugene Delacroix and his paintings....oooh, trop fort...trop fort! Je ne peux plus....

Getting ready

We are going home in about a month time. Yayy! I will be finishing my study at the end of May and hop, we will be off to Singapore. I can't believe how time flies so quickly!

Sure, I still wanna be around France throughout the springtime but there's nothing much better than our own home. I am not talking about the important of the place, we could be anywhere else in the world. It is the homey feeling, our nest and of course, our love. We miss a part of us, my darling husband who has been working 24 hours without us around.

I really can't imagine myself found my own bed and cooking in my own kitchen after a long time. And I do hope Noelia could sleep well in her own bedroom. She's getting taller and lost her baby chubbiness at around 17 months, she's a little girl now. Each morning when she wokes up, I found something in her has changed. Sometimes she mentioned a word that she heard yesterday from me or her grandmere. Haha, I believe her brain is actively working and rehearsing during her sleep....

When we arrived in Singapore she should be 18 months of age. We decided to put her in the child care for a half-day for her and my own sake. I don't believe in having a maid at home will be much of a great help since our house is not that big. We are able to get regular part-time helper that we have been using for almost 2 years. One of the other reason to put her in the child care for a trial at least 3 months is to provide her a space to express herself and socialize with other adults and kids. I know, it is hard on my part to let her go just like that everyday. I don't have much difficulties with her alone, she understands and can adjust the situation pretty well. Beside, it is the good place to play with toys since we don't want to pamper her with too much plastic toys at home. The good toys are precious learning tools and it is not easy to look for. And I hate to spend soo much money to buy new toys to be throwned out everywhere in the house.

I don't believe in structured education for such a young age. I've been looking from the child care around our place until the most exclusive childcare in town. I was surprised that the higher cost could get as much as our university's fee per semester. This make me wondering what can of education system they offered to their young students. Sure, I was tempted to listen to my ego to put her in the best school for 18 months old girl! She could be a genius kid, she will learn mathematics and singing like a rock star, maybe she could even work by the age of 6 years old and I will be retiring young. How nice! She'll probably will suffer pyschological problem soon...

I need to work for my own sanity and our financial budget to raise Noelia. Some people don't have much choice especially when we live in the big metropolitan city of Singapore. Those green notes are the only precious transaction acceptable to satisfy our physical being at the moment. If I can choose, I'd like to work beside my children someday so I can spend sometimes together.

Ok, I still need to do more research on what child care I should get Noelia when we're back. Really looking forward!