Time Flies Little Girl!

Time Flies Little Girl!, originally uploaded by L'Aubergine Grillée.

A year is passing down slowly. This tiny star is growing more and showing her character. I can't believe you are 1 year now....

I remember how much effort I have to push you out.
I remember how much we cried for a few months knowing that you had to be operated a day after you were born.
I remember the prayers we said every seconds for you to get well soon
I remember the feeling I had when I touch your lips
I remember how you had little cry in ICU room when we came
I remember the smell of the soap we use to clean our hands before we enter your room
I remember the day when I cleaned your pouch attached on your tiny tummy from the poos
I remember how I nursed you and get real close with you

We have passed those moments but I always know it will make us even closer. I know I may have been making mistakes to you, but I am learning to become your mother.

Unplugging our baby (No TV from 0-24 mos)

I am not sure whether we are uptight parent or not if we aren't allowing our 11 months old not to watch TV at home. I have been discussing this issue with Ludo when she was only a tiny seed inside me. We argued, criticized, analysed, challenged each other for us to get into the same page on parenting. For the past few months, we've been following and observing our friends and their children when the TV is turn on. This probably one of the sensitive issue in modern parenting. No, we are not trying to be different among other parents but it is the issue that we find it important to help to raise our kids during their early years.

There are 2 schools of thought on introducing TV to younger viewers. First, TV can be an educational media to acquire social skills and knowledge about the world surrounding. It could be also a tool to relax and calm the kids when they are agitated (in the wrong time). The other thinks that TV discourages learning and healthy physical and social development.

Right now, I am talking about younger babies (0-18 months). I have noticed that there are more TV programmes for them. In the market, they are sellinf Baby DVD such as Baby Einstein, Brainy Babies with smart marketing campaigns. These marketers bring up the theory of raising a smart baby in the spread articles of motherhood and parenting's magazines. Who doesn't want our younger baby can read, count and talk in different languages? It is good development skills that every parents dream of! The DVDs are readily available and yes, Ludo even insisted to me that it is a good buy from Carrefour! At that moment I said, we have subscribed a cable where there are Baby TV, Playhouse Disney Channel etc, why do we need more Baby CDs and DVDs? But eventually I agreed with him and thought if she could be smarter and acquire some new skills earlier will be awesome, we are going to be a very proud parent. But something inside me craved to find out more about it.

My journey began when I saw Ludo and Noelia were frozen stiff watching Baby TV programme. Both of them have the same expression, their eyes glued and mouth open a bit. It really looks like they have been hypnotized.

Let me trying to explain a bit of our background, Ludo is usually addicted to TV during his holiday in the hotel room cos it is a way to relax. He knows the weakness, so he prefers not to have TV at home until I insisted for the entertainment when I was full breastfeeding Noelia before. There was never a big deal with TV before we were married, we didn't have any. It wasn't too important for us although we had no clue what our friends mentioned some of the good shows like "Desperate Housewives", "Heroes" etc. But we watch movies at home or in cinema from different countries. We got busy meeting up with friends or cooking or reading together in our spare time. My childhood was spent watching TV for entertainment but I was assigned to help with household chores, so it is limited for certain hours allowed by my parent. I started working and studying at the age of 17.

Are babies getting smarter when they watch Baby Einstein or other educational DVD regurlarly? We found that the best teachers are the parent and caretakers to interact with them, it is far more effective to learn language that way than watching it from Baby DVD. It doesn't meant that this programme is harmful but it is not the best. But there are researchers mentioned that by parking our infant in front of TV in no time will delay language development in toddlers.

"...the majority of the videos don't try to promote language; they have rapid
scene changes and quick edits, and no appearance of the 'parent-ese' type of
speaking that parents use when talking to their babies."

"There is an assumption that stimulation is good, so more is better. But that's not true; there is such a thing as overstimulation. Their minds come to expect a high
level of stimulation, and view that as normal, and by comparison, reality is
boring."

Zimmerman and Dr. Dimitri Christakis, the University of Washington

Although this research is still an early stage to prove the negative effects of TV to younger viewers but I am prone to stay in the safe side, back to natural. Personally, I agreed thay the children learn better by doing than by watching. Why do we count flowers using TV media when there are more natural flowers out in the garden? There are more things we can learn from the nature which have been provided to us.

She finds it hillarious if we imitates babies expressions or animal sounds while we reading aloud (just don't let anyone else see us). She is excited to see her Papa dancing (badly) following the children's tune. She even find it amusant when Papa sing the children song out of tune. But I know for sure that she learns to get to know the world from her parent's eyes and ears etc. and not from TV.

Là où je vais

Whoever made this video of Indonesia with the beautiful song from Laurent Voulzy is brilliant!
It touches the inside of me to acknowledge and be proud of Indonesia, the country where I was born. The country with rich cultures, the beautiful and imperfectness of everything are unique and interesting.

I should consider this if I ever going to change my nationality....

Roots of my soul

Banyan tree roots, originally uploaded by L'Aubergine Grillée.

I always fascinated by the roots of the big tree. They hug firmly into the ground and travel as long as they can to survive. The small and big roots grow everywhere on the earth surface as if dancing in hope for the rain. I'm awed by the growth where it began from a small seed into strong tree. The deeper the roots below the soil, the stronger they are against the storm. It reminds me of our soul. We all need to hold something firm in order to feel secure so we won't be uprooted during the strong storm.

Feeling crafty these days ...

My evening craft project, originally uploaded by L'Aubergine Grillée.

Christmas is around the corner. Ludo's family is celebrating it together in France. Although I am not christian, this time I'd like to exchange the gifts with them. They've been giving me lotsa presents the previous years. But I try not to spend on new stuffs. I am thinking to give to family something personal which I can make it my own.

Here it goes! I am practising to recycle the container for toiletries which have been sat in the bathroom for a year. I turned the white ceramic products into mosaic pattern.

This is probably the first time I tap into my creativity side since Noelia was born. I found it is a relieve! I began noticing that when I am able to fit a bit of creating into my day, I become more calm, at peace and fulfilled. This also makes me more patient and mindful to respond on Noelia's needs.

Furthermore, I also have sewing classes every Wednesday morning. And yeah, I would also like to do knitting soon. My friend has agreed to teach me to knit a baby hat! It's gonna be useful activities during my slow year in winter wonderland! I'm ready to be in South of France during the winter....

Belly Dancing scarf

Belly Dancing scarf, originally uploaded by L'Aubergine Grillée.

This is the first shop we entered in our recent trip to Arab street. Noelia loves the noisy belly dancing scarf. Maybe I should enroll her to belly dancing class for babies!!! Just kidding ...

Is it necessary to go to Baby Gym?

I live in the city where the government provides the best quality life to its population. This is the city where public transportation is convenient to take anytime. It also one of the best place in Asia for parent to raise their children in healthy envionment due to lower crime-rate. When I was in mid 20s, I came back from friends' party around 2 am without being fear of being harrassed.

It is also a society who puts great emphasis on education. It is heartening to see many options of early childhood schools for expats and Singaporeans. There are choices from enrichment programs to speech and drama classes by local or international institutions. I found it is very overwhelming for young parents like me to choose pre-schools for Noelia.

One day Ludo, my husband came back home with a couple of flyers about the nearest gym which Noelia could participate. I was giving him many reasons that I do not like the idea of getting her in the gym to play. We live in the estate where the playground and neighbourhood kids are all around for us to connect. I found it sad if we think Noelia can do better crawl, walk, jumps, and friends in the gym. Oh, we have to pay extra money for gym's programme too!

Suprisingly, a bunch of parents send their 4 and 6 months old baby to the gym classes! These institutions are well marketed among young parents, especially expatriates in Singapore. Their objectives are building confidence that leads to lifetime success and improving motor skills etc. I can hear their pitch, "we want to make movement fun for you", "they will learn how to socialize with others", "your baby needs to learn to move properly", "we can teach your baby to have more confidence" etc. That is marketing garbages which many naive parents buy! I think this is disturbing trend.

Are we parents afraid that they are becoming obese? Do baby needs "a personal trainer" to help them to crawl and do front rolls? Babies supposed to get enough exercise with doing what they normally do, crawling, walk and play. It looks like we lost our faith with them that they can develop as any normal human being. According to AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics), the baby doesn't actually need a special fitness programme for her body to develop motor skills. Moreover, the AAP feels the possibility exists that adults may inadvertently exceed their infant's physical limitations by using structured exercise programme.

Because babies receive all the physical and mental exercise they require naturally, parents do not need specialized skills or equipment to provide an environment for the optimum development of their infant. It probably better that these programme aimed at bonding the parent and baby.

Of course, I am also happy to participate in mom-baby programme to beat my baby blues (I still have it a bit till she's 8 months old) and postpartum flab. Yes, I enrolled Noelia in Positive Babies programme once in a week since she was 7.5 months. It is a 45 min programme where she has a chance to sing, moves, listen together and meet new friends around her age. Interestingly, I also found it is beneficial for me to know how to enjoy and have fun with her. We learn sign language, a little bit of yoga, music and the most important thing is having a positive mindset in parenthood. Oh yeah, the movements in the class together with Noelia could make me sweat too!